Stinkers: Long John Polish

Some meat snacks are pretty bad and not worthy of a head to head comparison here at Meat Snack Review. These are Stinkers.

Long John Polish
Made in Michigan

I haven't been munching on the meat snacks much lately, but I did try this one a couple weeks ago. I must have thrown out the wrapper in anger and I can't find any info about it online. So, details are sparse, but if you see this meat snack in the wild, stay away.

I could taste nothing but vinegar in this one. After one bite it felt like I had eaten half a bag of Salt and Vinegar potato chips. The texture was very mushy. After removing the sausage from the wrapper, there was an inch or two of vinegar still in the wrapper, so it had to be handled carefully like a test tube until I could find a trash can.

One last thing I remember about this sausage: there is a hillbilly on the wrapper.

Sugar River Meats vs. Thousand Hills Cattle

I've been chewing on this review for awhile. The supermarket had a sale on the 2 pound bag of Sugar River "Original Spicy Snack Sticks, Ends and Pieces" and I've been munching on it for a few weeks. Also, we recently stopped in at the organic food store to get some good stuff for my infant daughter. They had a meat-less soy snack called "Jerquee" and some grass fed beef sticks by Thousand Hills Cattle Company. I choose the beef sticks...duh.

Thousand Hills Cattle Company
Cannon Falls, MN
Uncured Beef Sticks (Original and Minnesota Spice flavors)

Noteworthy ingredients: 100% Grass Fed Beef

Taste: Just not much flavor. Kinda like summer sausage. The "Minnesota Spice" variety has some black and red pepper, but it doesn't add much the the experience.

Texture: Soft casing. Texture is quite wet when I first opened the package. Because it is uncured, this must always be refrigerated. I let it sit in the fridge for more than a week to help it dry age a little. Also, texture was occasionally grisly, with those slimy things getting stuck in my teeth.

Overall: "No Nitrites of Nitrates Added. Except for the naturally occurring nitrates in celery juice and sea salt." I appreciate the good intentions of this product, but it wasn't very good. I'm throwing away the rest of them.


Sugar River Meats
New Glarus, WI
Original Spicy Snack Sticks, Ends and Pieces

Noteworthy ingredients: Beef, Mechanically Separated Chicken, Molasses Powder, Rice Bran Isolate or Rice Flour

Taste: Very similar to a Slim Jim. The flavor intensifies as you chew, as if you are grinding it down to its essence. The molasses adds a pleasant aroma.

Texture: Papery casing. Again, similar to a Slim Jim, but a little more substantial. Consistent, dry, firm texture. I wonder if the Rice Bran/Flour contributes to its dry consistency?

Overall: So this is alot like a Slim Jim, but without the sleaziness of a strip joint. It is cut into 1-2 inch pieces and its easy to keep nibbling on just one more piece. That I've rationed it to last a few weeks is quite an accomplishment.

The Verdict: Sugar River wins big.

Have you tried either of these? Let us know what you think of them in the comments.